25 March 2007

Ironic Half-assing

I finally finished a column I had originally intended to publish in place of relevant words back in my college newspaper days. Obviously I'm pretty uniquely talented in pretending to be diverse and multi-talented.

Posting through the US Postal Service

Writing on a blog becomes considerably more difficult when Internet stops and says, "mmm, nope. Fuck off." So I'm without a connection of my own (though with a slight connection of my neighbor's) to post for the last week.

It was 82 degrees outside today. I'm quite alright, for at least today, to still be in Iowa.

15 March 2007

"YOU'RE in the ceiling."

-The Prestige is a better film than The Illusionist. Both are more entertaining than the Blaine publicity stunt.

None of the three, however, live up to the Gob.

-Wouldn’t it be nice if I could post more? Or at least make these massive spurts of thought a regular thing?

-If I ask rhetorical questions in a place no one visits, will they ever get answered? More importantly, if a writer makes an analogous connection to the tree that may or may not crash to the fucking ground in the middle of the forest, will there be anyone to call ‘bullshit?’

-Classic SNL commercials make me happy.

-I don’t care in what context or on what issue they may appear, but conservative Christians always seem fanatical when written about in massively liberal and Godless forms of media.

-I have listened to the album of the year, as predicted by most to never live up to anyone’s expectations (unless you consider the fact that everyone was expecting something very sad compared to the very beautiful first album, which is still better than most). So the Arcade Fire’s Neon Bible is quite good, unless you’re deaf, then it’s probably just annoying to read about. On second thought, this deserves a full post and a better theme than "it's really fuckin' good."

-The last few weeks have been a bit less happy for me with The Office taking a break from new episodes until April 12th. It hasn’t been all that noticeable, though, because of the continued quality of 30 Rock. Tonight, and for the next three Thursday nights, I might have to cry into my pillow as I wait for both to return. The next month might be the worst twenty-eight days ever. Well, second worse.

-At the exact moment I wrote that last note, Ed Helms was singing his ‘Zombie, Zombie, Zombeei-eei-eeei’ song on an episode repeat. Blowin’ minds, man.

04 March 2007

The headline of the [to]day

"Gunmen stealing puppies caught on camera" (CNN)

Here we go again, another example of liberal propaganda. What, just because the men on the video had guns we're supposed to hate them? Or is it because they're stealing puppies? Dishonest journalism, I say.

But damnit if it doesn't grab your attention.

01 March 2007

My life moments, as you're interested--I can tell

The past two weeks:

-I'm still moving. I keep hearing it'll be very soon. Possibly next week. If not next week, then the week after. And it's probably going to be to Missoula, Montana. Or somewhere else. Not quite sure. Heard anything good about Missoula? Please tell me; I need the encouragement.

-Last Friday night (2.23.07) the power in my house flickered a few times; it even stopped completely for two minutes due to the ice storm outside. I thought, "fuck, who am I to care?" And the power came back on, and I went to bed sober--unable to go out for a going-away party because of the same damn ice. Next morning, my boss calls to tell me I don't have to come in. I think, "fuck yeah, yay ice storm," and go back to sleep. I wake up at noon (according to my cell phone), notice the lights don't turn on and make my way upstairs. No power. For the next three days. I come home Tuesday night at ten and our power arrives with me. I actually wanted to go to work for lack of a better alternative each of those days. So maybe development and technology and modern improvements really are for the better--as long as they don't snap off as easily as forty power poles during a severe winter ice storm.

-I've written before that I have never gotten into Bob Dylan's music; I think tonight I figured out the reason. I was watching Don't Look Back, the documentary of Dylan's 1965 tour of the United Kingdom: the interviews, the concerts, the informal moments of tour life, etc. And with every song, I thought, "Fuck, I really like this music." And with every interview, I thought, "Fuck, I would say some of the same things if I were famous and outgoing and Bob Dylan-like." When the movie finished, I couldn't find any other music in my computer collection that I really thought would live up to the songs and lyrics I had just heard. So, after contemplating it for the last hour (and reading his Wikipedia entry), I think I can surmise my disinterest in Bob Dylan is due to my exposure to his later material. The only song I know I've known for a long time is the Hurricane song, and I only learned that from the movie of the same name. I've always seen Dylan as more of a country-folk-bluesy singer, and that's never been my speed. So the streaming poetic folk of Don't Look Back stands against my faulty image of what I've heard for so long is one of the most influential musicians ever. I honestly feel a bit deceived, though I'm happy I've been saved back to a part of his music that I can like.

-It's blowing shittily outside at the moment, but we do still have power. Momentarily, at least.

"Don't touch me! I'm mean!"

I read about Chicago's The Boring Store tonight; I haven't been quite so happy to read something in too long a time:

In appearance, it's an elaborate joke on curious shoppers. In reality, it's a great idea to get kids writing creatively. The basic concept is that all outside signage suggests nothing more than an average store that sells nothing but holes and openings, and an innocent building that hasn't had a customer in twenty-eight years. "Not a secret agent supply store," reads a piece of paper in the front window.

I love the main banner sign:


Everything about it is dry--without reading through it, a passer-by would miss the point. Like asking someone who just got hit in the face by a softball if they're okay (or maybe not), The Boring Store tries to appear boring when it's just the opposite. The gadgets inside--like a 360 degree periscope--deny any merit as spy tools--not a 360 degree periscope as used by spies.
The article linked above (and source of the picture) photo narrates the bulk of the store inside (including a mysterious-looking mannequin with a "Don't touch me! I'm mean!" name tag). The recurring moustache theme sounds too good to be true: a moustache sache, a moustache wallet (because wallets only get stolen because they look like wallets) and a moustache-growing contest.
It adds up to be incredibly inspiring, especially considering the main purpose of the content is to get students to write (with the help of volunteering tutors).